Wha, wha, WHAT?

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Not that the Romney campaign hasn’t been just chock full of silliness thus far, but the past week has been particularly amusing. The MSM bobbleheads, along with their GOP string-pullers, are beside themselves, gasping in disbelief as Romney’s numbers continue to plummet.

I remember the launch of Romney’s campaign. It was met with a smug this will be a slam-dunk attitude by many who, I can only assume, were completely unfamiliar with the man, his demeanor and his background.

It would seem clear to anyone with a dollop of common sense (and that may be the problem here, the incredible lack thereof) that Romney was a catastrophe waiting to happen – and he lost no time proving it.

For my friends across the aisle, let me spell it out for you. And, as always, feel free to seek assistance when you don’t understand the big words.

Firstly, people don’t take kindly to being insulted. That includes everyone from NASCAR fans, to Hispanics, to African-Americans, to women, to every other demographic that Mitt has gone out of his way to insult in one way or another.

When a candidate for Commander-in-Chief considers our troops too insignificant to be included on his “laundry list” in his nomination acceptance speech, a lot of them are going to figure that, hey, he’s just not that into us. Add to the mix the fact that the candidate’s party just voted against a bill to get veterans back to work after their service, and you’ve got a lot of military men and women, their families, friends and communities who are so turned off the Mittster, they can’t wait to vote against him in November.

Dismissing 47% of the citizenry as moochers who will never take responsibility for their own lives – a percentage that includes veterans, the elderly, children, and the poor – is going to get a good portion of that 47% thinking you’re an arrogant asshole. People tend not to support assholes, especially an arrogant asshole who has yet to prove that he pays his own fair share in taxes while writing off almost half the nation as lazy, irresponsible parasites.

Yes, Romney came into this game with lots of moolah to spend, and that’s something to be considered. But the fact remains that you can spend a billion dollars marketing a lousy product, and you’re not going to be seeing much of a return on that investment. This is particularly true when your advertising budget keeps getting eaten up by having to run ads aimed at damage control, rather than extolling the alleged virtues of the absolute crap you’re attempting to market.

A man who wonders aloud about why airplane windows can’t be opened causes the populace to think that maybe he’s just too fuckin’ stupid to tie his own shoelaces, no less govern a nation. A man who, devoid of any foreign policy experience (if you don’t count all the countries he’s outsourced American jobs to), manages to demean our foreign allies in one quick trip abroad causes people to think maybe he’s not the best choice for representing our nation in an increasingly volatile world.

Voters look to a candidate who presents specific solutions to specific problems. Responding to every question about specifics with “I’ll tell you the details after the election” is as reassuring as “the check is in the mail.” Do you actually find it surprising that voters are reluctant to buy a pig-in-a-poke – especially when the pig has consistently proven itself to be all squeal and no substance?

It would seem obvious that when a candidate’s much-touted business success was achieved by outsourcing US jobs and destroying US businesses for his own profit, some folks – and more than a few – are not only determined not to vote for him, they’re going to do whatever it takes to send his bid for the presidency into a crash-and-burn spin. And they’ll be celebrating the inevitable fireworks that result on impact this November.

Having a born-with-a-silver-spoon-in-his-mouth multimillionaire, who has parked his millions in offshore tax havens, lecture hard-working Americans about being responsible citizens – did you really think that was going to go over well?  Really?

And then there’s the personal aspect of the man. Having been perceived from the get-go as too wooden and aloof, the PTB trotted out his wife to sing “Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen” while recounting the days she had to scrape by on Mitt’s investment portfolio, while eating off an ironing board. Did you really believe Ms. Dances-with-Fancy-Horses wouldn’t drive potential voters running for the nearest exit? Could there be any doubt that the “you people” comment alone was enough to raise the hackles of the populace, let alone the comments about working women – a huge demographic which Ms. Romney has never been part of, and openly disdains?

And now we come to the lies – not easily-dismissed, little white lies, but whoppers. Lies that can be easily be debunked with a home computer and two minutes on Google. So tell me again how you didn’t think those lies would leave a mark on the consciousness of the voting population.

Did you actually go into this race thinking the topic of Bain would never be discussed, that missing and/or incomplete tax returns would not be made an issue, that offshore accounts in tax havens would not raise some exceedingly prickly questions? Were you so naive as to think a man who can’t open his mouth without losing you potential voters was going to be your Slam-Dunk hero at the end of the day?

And now you sit there and tell us that you’re shocked – SHOCKED, I tell you! – that Romney isn’t garnering more support.  The numbers must be skewed! There is something amiss here! This can’t be happening!

I know you bobbleheads wanted – no, needed – a close race to keep your viewers tuned-in. And I know you GOP operatives wanted – no, needed – the same. But it ain’t happening. And all the lessons learned at the Baghdad Bob School of Absurd Denial aren’t going to change that fact.

The Republicans chose the least likeable, least sincere, least intelligent candidate possible. That’s their real problem, the elephant-in-the-room who consistently takes a dump on some portion of the voting population at least once every news cycle. And pretending not to notice that incontinent pachyderm, and the reaction to the shit he exudes, is laughable.

As though all of the aforementioned was not enough to ensure Romney’s defeat, throw the GOP’s obstructionism into the mix, along with their rehashed stale ideas and ideology. (Helpful Hint: It’s kind of hard to convince the populace that you’re determined to see them back at work, when you’ve shot down every initiative to do just that, and have offered absolutely nothing as an alternative.) Add in the war you continue to wage on women’s rights, comments like “We’re not generating enough angry white guys to stay in business for the long term,” a heaping dash of homophobia, a healthy spoonful of xenophobia – and voila! you have a recipe for electoral disaster.  And it is one of your own making.

So tell me again how close this race is – numbers notwithstanding. Tell me again how there is no enthusiasm among Democrats to ensure President Obama’s re-election – numbers not withstanding. Tell me again how there are no US tanks in Iraq, as they line up behind you within camera range, obvious to everyone except yourselves.

You, the Republican Party, have hitched your wagon to an anchor. That was your choice. So please don’t waste our time whining about your fate as you go down. Not only do we not care that you’re drowning – we’re totally enjoying the show.