Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad today announced that he has dispatched a team of election officials to Florida to assist officials there in tabulating the results of Tuesday’s Presidential race.
“I was shocked and saddened to see images on the news in recent days which showed so many dark skinned people waiting on lines that stretched as far as the eye could see — some spending their entire day waiting in the heat to exercise their right to vote,” the one-time influential leader told reporters. “It reminded me of sadder times here at home — before we embraced the freedom and democracy we all enjoy now.”
Ahmadinejad also added, “I found it particularly sad because Gov. Rick Scott has always been such a good friend to me ever since we first met back when I was running for mayor of Tehran. I’ll never forget meeting him at a spaghetti dinner fundraiser and finding, much to my surprise, how much we had in common — particularly when it comes to our philosophy regarding the role of government.”
The Iranian president also said he has instructed his team to remain in Florida as long as they are welcome — not merely until the last vote of the US Supreme Court has been counted, but to remain as consultants to aid state and local officials in more modern methods that he hopes will allow the state of Florida to conduct 6th-century caliber elections in the future.
“I remember the times when we too might require until several days after the election to determine a winner. But now we have become so efficient and proficient at conducting free and fair elections that even though our next elections are not until next year, all the votes have already been counted. Any state that would elect such a visionary leader as Rick Scott deserves nothing less as well.”
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