Peace to All Men/Women of Good Will

JSIAIf you are a sincere follower of the Christ who was beaten, tortured, scourged, crowned with thorns, nailed to a cross, and left to die in excruciating agony, don’t you think equating someone wishing you “Happy Holidays” with persecution is a bit over the top? And if you believe that Christ suffered all of this to save your soul, aren’t you glad He wasn’t the whiny little pissant you are? If He were, He would have bailed on the whole idea of saving your ass the first time someone wished Him well using phraseology He didn’t care for.

The Ten Commandments did not include “Thou Shalt Not Be Gay.” Being as God is pretty much omnipotent and all, he could have had those Commandments go all the way up to Eleven – if he’d wanted to. But He didn’t. Maybe He figured it wasn’t as big a deal as you think it is. But then maybe you think your priorities should supersede His.

There is no mention in the New Testament of Jesus ever commenting on the “sin” of homosexuality. Do you think maybe it just slipped His mind? Do you think He was crucified, rose from the dead, ascended into heaven, sat at the right hand of God – and then did a face-palm while exclaiming, “Holy shit! I knew I forgot something while I was down there”?

The teachings of Jesus were meant to be a complete meal, not a serving suggestion. If you think that feeding the hungry, caring for the sick, and sheltering the homeless are merely pick-and-choose, Column A/Column B side dishes, you’ve apparently missed the point of the menu entirely.

If you believe the Bible is the literal word of God (whichever of the many versions of His literal word you adhere to), and still think that casting the first stone, judging others without fear of being judged yourself, or following false prophets who are in it for profit, you might want to take a refresher course on the meaning of hypocrisy.

Jesus drove the money-grubbers from the Temple. Shouldn’t someone point that out to the mega-church pastors and the TV evangelists who use their churches as money-making enterprises for their own gain? I can’t imagine anything more embarrassing than standing at the Pearly Gates whining, “Honest to You, God, I had no idea You were talking about me and my seven-figure-a-year income! Man oh man, is my face red now.”

“Love thy neighbor as thyself.” I stand to be corrected, but I don’t remember that admonition being followed by, “.. unless your neighbor is a different color, ethnicity, race, or faith – in which case, just ignore the foregoing and act like the hate-filled douchebag you’ve always been.”

“Do unto others as you would have done unto you.” Well, it looked good on paper, but surely Jesus didn’t mean it to be taken literally, especially when politically inconvenient. Apparently we have many Good Christians™ in office who want you to believe that if they were the victims of a natural disaster, or chronic unemployment, or employment that paid wages so low they couldn’t feed their children, they would really, really want to be marginalized, referred to as lazy parasites, and completely ignored in their time of need.

“As you do to the least among you, so you do unto Me.” Well, it would seem the problem here is a lack of specificity. After all, just who are the least among us? According to a lot of today’s Christians™ it’s not the poor, the downtrodden, the afflicted, the imprisoned, the starving, the disabled, or the mentally ill. And according to Republican Christians™ in office, it is definitely not those who rely on food stamps, welfare, or the extended unemployment benefits they need just to survive day to day. I’m sure that once they figure out exactly who is the least among us, they’ll shower said person with care and respect, just like the Good Lord told them to do. But until that least among us person can be positively identified (three pieces of photo ID required), that particular Good Book legal loophole apparently continues to be fully operational. Continue reading Peace to Men/Women of Good Will

For Christ's Sake - Literally

An Open Letter to Put-Upon Christians:

As we embark on the holiday season, I am already hearing the all-too-familiar comments about The War on Christmas – which, as most intelligent people know, has never existed, doesn’t exist now, and never will exist.

It is a term coined by right-wing TV and radio personalities, whose audience share relies on convincing people like yourselves that non-Christians are waging a battle against your faith, your beliefs, and your religious principles. And it is, on its face, so ridiculous a notion, I continue to be amazed at how many of you fall for this nonsense time and again.

But let’s talk about it, shall we?

You say you want to keep Christ in Christmas. And that’s fine. Where you go wrong is your insistence that everyone keep Christ in their Christmas, even those who do not share your faith and don’t celebrate Christmas at all.

Many people celebrate end-of-year holidays; those of differing religious beliefs and those with no religious beliefs at all. They tend to wish others “Happy Holidays,” a much more inclusive greeting of good wishes towards their neighbors and friends. How this well-wishing became an affront to Christianity is still beyond me.

The truth is that I would welcome your keeping Christ in your everyday lives, not just at the time of celebrating His birth. But the words and teachings of The Nazarene seem to escape your notice on a daily basis, and following His example of caring for your fellow men has devolved into a spewing of useless rhetoric that serves no perceptible purpose other than to declare yourself to be a Christian while not bothering to act as one.

I would be more than interested in hearing about how your faith in Christ led you to volunteer at a homeless shelter, or the local soup kitchen. Can you not understand how skeptical I am of the depth of your faith when you instead use your time to rant against a local vendor selling Xmas trees, or the mall up the street decorating with Happy Holidays! banners?

I would be absolutely inspired by your selfless efforts to provide warm clothing to those in need, or to ensure that shelter is available to those who have no family or friends to rely on for the necessities of life. But when you start relegating people to being somehow undeserving of your compassion due to their religious beliefs or their political views, perhaps you can appreciate why I so quickly lose interest in your alleged devotion to following in the footsteps of He Who made no such distinctions.

You claim to be “persecuted” because your child can’t pray in the classroom, because you can’t proselytize in public forums, because you can’t post the Ten Commandments on the courthouse steps. You fail to recognize that if Muslims were permitted to post passages of the Qur’an in public places, you would be the first to complain. Why does your religion trump all others? Where is your adherence to being your brother’s keeper for its own sake, and not because your brother believes exactly as you do? I don’t remember Jesus saying, “Treat one another as you would be treated – except, of course, those who follow any faith other than faith in Me?”

Do you comprehend why I find your expressions of faith in Christ a tad less than genuine when you support politicians who decry food stamps, welfare benefits, and assistance to those in need as being a drain on your tax dollars? Do you ever stop to think that Jesus admonished His followers to care for the sick, the elderly and the down-and-out without regard to their politics, but only with regard to their obvious need? Continue reading For Christ’s Sake – Literally

Make Room at the Kiddie Table this Thanksgiving

Look, I like kids as much as the next gal. I raised two – and survived. They can be cute, disarming, and have a penchant for saying the darndest things. But when they get to be adults and are still acting like children, it’s time to seat them at the Kiddie Table where they can spout their immature ramblings without interference, leaving the adults free to engage in more serious discussion over turkey with all the fixin’s.

The honor of being seated at the head of America’s Kiddie Table this Thanksgiving undoubtedly goes to Mitt Romney. After insulting those who cooked the turkey (or his goose during the election, as the case may be), he will regale the attendant youngsters with tales about how he could have been president, were it not for all of those unfair grown-ups who insisted on facts rather than his fictions, and voted accordingly.

He will also remind the other kiddies that if they find healthcare reform under the Christmas tree next month, it is not a matter of legislation meant to benefit all Americans, but is merely another “gift” to the undeserving 47% who voted for the guy who is willing to cram all of that “free stuff” into their stockings.

The next Kiddie Table honoree to be seated is John McCain, always welcome among his fellow foot-stomping non-adults who enjoy throwing temper tantrums at the holiday dinner table – and pretty much everywhere else. Despite a propensity to chase kids off his lawn on a regular basis, McCain will undoubtedly be revered by those same kids for having the balls to up-end the Candyland board at the end of the evening when he realizes that the game is not going his way.

Surely there can be no dispute that Allen West has more than earned his place at this year’s Kiddie Table. His whining refusal to accept reality will undoubtedly strike a chord with his fellow kids who believe that when you wish upon a star, it makes no difference who you are – and you should win an election even if you only garnered the support of Three Pigs, Seven Dwarfs, and a crazy lady in Tampa who once owned a bunch of Dalmatians – and has the coat to prove it. Perhaps West’s premature electionation was prompted by the fact that Pinocchio was at the top of the ticket and, all things being equal, he should have been able to at least win by a very, very long nose.

The next to be seated are the My guy didn’t win, so I’m seceding kids. I can’t help but remember my son packing his Matchbox cars, his Superman pajamas, and two peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches when he decided to “secede” from the family due to the enforcement of bedtime rules he didn’t agree with. He had an excuse for his childish behavior, in that he was three years old at the time. I keep wondering what excuse for such childish carryings-on the secessionists are relying upon – other than the obvious excuse of never having intellectually advanced beyond a pre-kindergarten mindset. Is there any doubt as to their rightful place at the if I hold my breath until I get what I want, I will actually GET what I want table? Continue reading Make Room at the Kiddie Table this Thanksgiving

Wha, wha, WHAT?

Not that the Romney campaign hasn’t been just chock full of silliness thus far, but the past week has been particularly amusing. The MSM bobbleheads, along with their GOP string-pullers, are beside themselves, gasping in disbelief as Romney’s numbers continue to plummet.

I remember the launch of Romney’s campaign. It was met with a smug this will be a slam-dunk attitude by many who, I can only assume, were completely unfamiliar with the man, his demeanor and his background.

It would seem clear to anyone with a dollop of common sense (and that may be the problem here, the incredible lack thereof) that Romney was a catastrophe waiting to happen – and he lost no time proving it.

For my friends across the aisle, let me spell it out for you. And, as always, feel free to seek assistance when you don’t understand the big words.

Firstly, people don’t take kindly to being insulted. That includes everyone from NASCAR fans, to Hispanics, to African-Americans, to women, to every other demographic that Mitt has gone out of his way to insult in one way or another.

When a candidate for Commander-in-Chief considers our troops too insignificant to be included on his “laundry list” in his nomination acceptance speech, a lot of them are going to figure that, hey, he’s just not that into us. Add to the mix the fact that the candidate’s party just voted against a bill to get veterans back to work after their service, and you’ve got a lot of military men and women, their families, friends and communities who are so turned off the Mittster, they can’t wait to vote against him in November.

Dismissing 47% of the citizenry as moochers who will never take responsibility for their own lives – a percentage that includes veterans, the elderly, children, and the poor – is going to get a good portion of that 47% thinking you’re an arrogant asshole. People tend not to support assholes, especially an arrogant asshole who has yet to prove that he pays his own fair share in taxes while writing off almost half the nation as lazy, irresponsible parasites.

Yes, Romney came into this game with lots of moolah to spend, and that’s something to be considered. But the fact remains that you can spend a billion dollars marketing a lousy product, and you’re not going to be seeing much of a return on that investment. This is particularly true when your advertising budget keeps getting eaten up by having to run ads aimed at damage control, rather than extolling the alleged virtues of the absolute crap you’re attempting to market.

A man who wonders aloud about why airplane windows can’t be opened causes the populace to think that maybe he’s just too fuckin’ stupid to tie his own shoelaces, no less govern a nation. A man who, devoid of any foreign policy experience (if you don’t count all the countries he’s outsourced American jobs to), manages to demean our foreign allies in one quick trip abroad causes people to think maybe he’s not the best choice for representing our nation in an increasingly volatile world.

Voters look to a candidate who presents specific solutions to specific problems. Responding to every question about specifics with “I’ll tell you the details after the election” is as reassuring as “the check is in the mail.” Do you actually find it surprising that voters are reluctant to buy a pig-in-a-poke – especially when the pig has consistently proven itself to be all squeal and no substance?

It would seem obvious that when a candidate’s much-touted business success was achieved by outsourcing US jobs and destroying US businesses for his own profit, some folks – and more than a few – are not only determined not to vote for him, they’re going to do whatever it takes to send his bid for the presidency into a crash-and-burn spin. And they’ll be celebrating the inevitable fireworks that result on impact this November.

Having a born-with-a-silver-spoon-in-his-mouth multimillionaire, who has parked his millions in offshore tax havens, lecture hard-working Americans about being responsible citizens – did you really think that was going to go over well?  Really? Continue reading Wha, wha, WHAT?

God is a Democrat

My long-held suspicion that God is a Democrat now seems to have been borne out by the fact that every prayer the Democrats have uttered since the Republicans chose their presumptive presidential candidate has been answered – and then some. To wit:

Please, God, ensure that their nominee inarticulately demonstrates his own stupidity in front of the citizenry.

“I believe in an America where millions of Americans believe in an America that’s the America millions of Americans believe in. That’s the America I love.” – Mitt Romney

Please lead him to make statements that are diametrically opposed to what the voters want to hear in the current climate of blatant corporate greed, corporate malfeasance, and a total lack of corporate ethics.

“Corporations are people, my friend… of course they are.” – Mitt Romney

Please cause him to state, without shame or equivocation, how totally lacking in compassion he is for the most unfortunate among us.

“I’m not concerned about the very poor.” – Mitt Romney

Please allow him to be openly insulting to the very groups he attempts to pander to.

“I have some friends who are NASCAR team owners.” – Mitt Romney

Please encourage him to amply display his disdain for hard-working Americans, especially those who are unemployed.

“I like being able to fire people who provide services to me.” – Mitt Romney

Please cause him to arrogantly make fun of the concerns of the out-of-work by pretending to be one of them.

“I should tell my story. I’m also unemployed.” – Mitt Romney

Please encourage him to contradict himself with abandon on every issue.

“(Governor Romney) believes what we put in place in Massachusetts was a penalty, and he disagrees with the court’s ruling that the mandate was a tax.” – Romney spokesman

“The majority of the court said it is a tax, and therefore it is a tax.” – Mitt Romney

Please lead him to equate NAACP members with freeloaders.

“If they want more stuff from government, tell them to go vote for the other guy – more free stuff.” – Mitt Romney

Please ensure that his wife is equally as vapid and arrogant as he is.

“I love the fact that there are women out there who don’t have a choice, and they must go to work and they still have to raise the kids.” – Ann Romney

Please let him be a member of a religion that will cause the heads of the GOP’s Fundie base to explode.

A recent Gallup poll indicates 18 percent of registered voters surveyed would not vote for a Mormon presidential candidate.

Please let him be obscenely wealthy at a time when average Americans are increasingly angered by the disparity between the haves and have-nots.

Romney’s personal fortune has been estimated to be as high as $250 million.

Please lead him into the temptation of distancing his own party members from his campaign.

“We aren’t reacting to what Republican strategists do. All of this hue and cry, you know, from the bedwetters who get to sit on the sidelines, aren’t going to affect what we’re going to do and our plan.” – Romney campaign advisor

Please lead him into the trap of being caught in his own lies.

“I was in Salt Lake City for three straight years. I don’t recall even coming back once to go to a Bain or management meeting.” – Mitt Romney 2012

“There were a number of social trips and business trips that brought me back to Massachusetts, board meetings, Thanksgiving and so forth.” – Mitt Romney testimony in June 2002

Please make his defenders as laughably inept as the candidate himself.

“He took a leave of absence (from Bain) and in fact ended up not going back at all, and retired retroactively to February 1999 as a result.” – Ed Gillespie, July 2012

Please cause his own words, along with his own tax-dodging behavior, to come back and bite him in the ass.

“Blind trusts are an age-old ruse.” – Mitt Romney 1994

Please let him be dumb enough to dismiss his cruelty to the family pet, strapped to a car roof for a twelve-hour road trip, as a joke.

“PETA is not happy that my dog likes fresh air.” – Mitt Romney

Please encourage him to be arrogant enough to describe an annual income of $374,000 derived from speaker’s fees as mere chump change to citizens who are desperately trying to make ends meet.

“I get speaker’s fees from time to time, but not very much.” – Mitt Romney

Please let his political supporters be just as self-servingly, ass-kissingly hypocritical as he is.

“(Romney is) the worst Republican in the country to put up against Barack Obama.” – Rick Santorum – March 2012

Rick Santorum Endorses Romney – May 2012

Please let him be stupid enough to take credit for something he was publicly opposed to, along with being stupid enough to think no one would notice.

“Let Detroit go bankrupt.” – Mitt Romney, November 2008

“I’ll take a lot of credit for the fact that this industry has come back.” – Mitt Romney, May 2012 Continue reading God is a Democrat

The RIGHT is Right!

This needs to be said, and I, a liberal Democrat, am not afraid to say it to the oft-maligned RWers we dismiss as knuckle-dragging idiots:

You’re right. Obama is a Kenyan-born Muslim communist capitalist socialist, whose birth announcement was placed in a Hawaiian newspaper five decades ago by someone who foresaw his future bid for the presidency, and wanted to pave the way for his takeover of the nation.

You’re right. There is a “gay agenda.” It is carried out by people who have chosen to overcome their natural desire for heterosexual sex, and instead pretend to be attracted to same-sex partners because it’s in, it’s cool, it’s happenin’. As a result of adhering to their agenda, they have fewer rights, can become the victims of assault, can lose their jobs, and be treated like outcasts in their own families. The only possible reason for their doing so is to piss people like you off.

You’re right. Marriage is a sacred institution. That’s why so many prominent Republican politicians marry multiple times, in order to be even more “sacred” in the eyes of the Lord.

You’re right. Traditional marriages disintegrate in places where gays can legally marry. In fact, before the recognition of gay marriage, traditionally-married heterosexual couples never divorced for any reason.

You’re right. Sex education invariably leads to premarital sex, which was unheard of before Sex Ed became part of the curriculum. In addition, no one ever engaged in oral sex before Bill Clinton invented it.

You’re right. No one should have access to birth control, as it goes against God’s law, unlike gun control, which Jesus spoke out against at every opportunity.

You’re right. Christians are being blatantly persecuted every time someone says “Happy Holidays” or advertises a sale on Xmas trees. The more egregious examples – like churches being torn down, and burnings-at-the-stake – are just not widely reported, thanks to the Lib’rul Media.

You’re right. History should be rewritten every few years, just so it doesn’t get boring for high school students who have to study it. Facts have their place – but a school textbook shouldn’t be one of them.

You’re right. Illegals are taking good-paying, sought-after jobs away from Americans. This is borne out by the number of six-figure salaried positions that are regularly handed over to people who can’t even speak English.

You’re right. Higher education is not important. Who needs a degree in structural engineering anyway? Do doctors really need to go to medical school? Surely we can trust our expansion bridges and brain surgery to the non-elitists who eschew Lib’rul breeding grounds like colleges and universities.

You’re right. All Muslims are terrorists – just like all Italians are Mafiosi, all Jews are cheap, all Poles are dumb, all Irish are drunks, and all blacks are lazy and shiftless.

You’re right. Science is unproven theory – the Bible is proven fact. In the early days of our 6,000-year-old planet, people co-existed with dinosaurs. Anyone who has seen Jurassic Park knows how this worked.

You’re right. The Bible is the literal word of God. Just ask Adam and Eve, who populated the earth by having children who were precluded by God’s own law from engaging in intercourse with each other – thereby ending the continuance of the human race. (Who wrote the books of the Bible following Genesis is anybody’s guess.)

You’re right. The USA was founded as a Christian nation. The Founding Fathers only said the opposite, over and over, because they hoped to be remembered throughout history for their wacky sense of humor.

You’re right. George W. Bush didn’t put the country into debt. The GOP only went along with this false accusation at the time because, in the spirit of bipartisanship, they didn’t want to embarrass those lying-through-their-teeth Democrats. Continue reading The RIGHT is Right!

Just Sayin' Is All (Midnight Musings edition)

Republicans are incessantly ranting about things like morals, ethics, and family values.  In other words, they just can’t stop whining about the things they don’t have.

Priests and ministers are always encouraging us to have a “personal relationship with God”.  Wouldn’t the first step towards that kind of relationship be to cut out the middleman?

I wouldn’t mind people trying to put the Ten Commandments in public buildings if those same people would agree to follow them.

If Sarah Palin had half a brain, she’d be able to appreciate the vast emptiness that exists in the other half of her skull.

People who are glued to FOX News 24/7 aren’t necessarily a devoted audience – they’re just too stupid to know how to change channels.

Hey, remember when George W. Bush was president?  The Republicans don’t.

A day without Rush Limbaugh is like a day without an anal cyst.

I think that if the GOP wants to get intimate with my vagina, they should start with a romantic dinner, flowers, and an expensive little bauble from Tiffany’s.

If Republicans were as concerned about government spending when one of theirs was in the White House as they are when one of ours is, Obama would now be under fire for how he’s using the surplus he’d inherited.

You have to admit there’s a certain something about Republican politicians.  I don’t know exactly what it is, but it has an extremely unpleasant odor.

I remember when the TV news was delivered in an editorial-free, without comment, monotone.  I’m so glad the MSM has replaced all of that boring factual shit with dazzling graphics and mindless chit-chat!

You used to have to buy a crappy tabloid at the supermarket check-out if you wanted innuendo, speculation and gossip.  Now you just have to tune-in to the nightly “news”.

Devoid-of-talent celebrity wannabes used to vie for a five-minute spot on the local news – now they have their own reality shows (Seasons 1 through 6 now available on hi-def DVDs!)

I wonder when so-called Christians will have their come to Jesus moment – and if they’ll even recognize him when they get there.

I’d love to see Mitt Romney visit Canada – as long as someone straps him to the roof of a car for the trip.

If facts could literally bite you in the ass, not a single GOP politician would be able to sit down.

You can’t insult Republicans by calling them ignorant, ill-informed, classless bigots –  these days, they just take it as a compliment.

One can’t help but be amused when the Catholic Church takes the moral high ground on an issue.  It’s kind of like listening to a bunch of pedophiles and their enablers talking about morality – actually, it IS listening to a bunch of pedophiles and their enablers talking about morality.

Ann Coulter fans love it when her latest book hits the Top Ten on the best-seller lists – it means they can buy a copy at the local Dollarama for $1.99 the same day!

Don’t you get a kick out of Republicans insisting that Obama controls the price of gas at the pump?  It’s understandable, though – obviously he’d want to raise prices in an election year.

Those folks who got trotted off to FEMA internment camps during the Bush years, and the “true progressives” who are being trotted off during the Obama years – how are they getting along?  Anyone heard anything?

It’s said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different outcome.  That being said, why haven’t all Republican voters been institutionalized by now?

If I had a dime for every time a GOP politician told a lie, I would have been part of that infamous 1% years ago. Continue reading Just Sayin’ Is All (Midnight Musings edition)

Just Sayin’ Is All (Remember When Jesus Said edition)

Remember when Jesus said, “If you would follow me, start by building a megachurch, get your own TV show, and convince millions of people who can’t afford it to contribute their meager savings to fund your multimillion-dollar lifestyle.” I don’t.

Remember when Jesus said, “If you have Gay Pride celebrations in your city, I will destroy it with a hurricane, breach the levies, flood everything, and kill even the most innocent among you.” I don’t.

Remember when Jesus said, “Homosexuals are all sinners, whose love for each other will destroy the holiness of marriage, lead to immorality among the masses, and topple nations.” I don’t.

Remember when Jesus said, “Upon this rock I will build my church, and that church will allow pedophiles to prey upon children without interference.” I don’t.

Remember when Jesus said, “Go out among the people and spread hatred, bigotry and intolerance – and be sure to do it in my name.” I don’t.

Remember when Jesus said, “As you do to the least among you – well, they ARE the least among you, so why should you care about them anyway?” I don’t.

Remember when Jesus said, “Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, but make sure your tax-free churches are permitted to preach about politics.” I don’t.

Remember when Jesus said, “Blessed are the poor – but don’t offer them any assistance, because they’re all welfare queens anyway.” I don’t.

Remember when Jesus said, “Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, and pray instead in private because – psych! Just kiddin’. Make a big, splashy, over-the-top show of it every chance you get!” I don’t.

Remember when Jesus said, “The meek shall inherit the earth – or what’s left of it after the arrogant and greedy have taken their share first.” I don’t.

Remember when Jesus said, “Thou shalt care for the sick and dying – but only if they can afford health insurance.” I don’t.

Remember when Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers – unless there’s a buck to be made off a good war, in which case all peacemakers be damned.” I don’t.

Remember when Jesus said, “What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder – unless there’s a Republican politician who’s on his second, third or fourth wife, in which case I didn’t really mean the aforementioned.” I don’t.

Remember when Jesus said, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you – as long as there’s something in it for both of you.” I don’t.

Remember when Jesus said, “Blessed are the hypocrites, who say one thing and do another.” I don’t.

Remember when Jesus said, “Treat all women as chattel, and give them no voice in determining their own well-being.” I don’t.

Remember when Jesus said, “Give no woman dominion over her own body or her own fate, lest ye be damned for eternity.” I don’t.

Remember when Jesus said, “Thou art thy brother’s keeper – but only when convenient.” I don’t.

Remember when Jesus said, “Let the worst sinners among you cast as many stones as they see fit.” I don’t.

Remember when Jesus said, “If you truly love me, use my name and image as a marketing ploy when running for office.” I don’t. Continue reading Just Sayin’ Is All (Remember When Jesus Said edition)

Just Sayin’ Is All (Oh, Sweet Jesus! edition)

Well, it looks like the Catholic Church hierarchy have their cassocks all in a twist over the Obama administration’s recent ruling that religious institutions had to follow the same rules as other employers, and offer contraception as part of health insurance coverage.

Now, I hope His Holier-Than-Thouness is sitting down for this news:  Catholic women use birth control. Yep, they do – honest to God.  And they really don’t give a damn what the Church has to say about it.

The basis for the Church’s objection seems to be that they should not have to fund something that is against their conscience as Catholics. That being said, I wonder when the powers-that-be will be reimbursing parishioners who, via their Sunday contributions to the collection plate, unwittingly funded the legal defense of pedophile priests and/or the monetary settlements flowing from same.

Of course, what the Church’s position fails to recognize is that the cost of birth control being covered by insurance does not equate to shoving BC pills down a woman’s throat. It’s a matter of choice as to whether any woman takes advantage of this option – and, as we all know, the concept of a woman having a choice with respect to her own body is something the Church has had a problem with for centuries.

Needless to say – but I’ll say it anyway – the RW talking heads lost no time declaring that Obama will lose the votes of the entire Catholic electorate in November. Yeah, mm-hmm, right. There’s nothing that makes one moan “Oh, Sweet Jesus!” like outraged pseudo-Christians purporting to know what they’re talking about – especially in a political atmosphere where “None of the Above” is ranking at the top of the current list of GOP presidential wannabes.

In a related story of committing the sin of hypocrisy, Cardinal Edward Egan (formerly of the archbishop-prick of New York) has withdrawn his 2002 apology for the Church’s handling of sex abuse cases, now maintaining that the handling of the situation under his watch was “incredibly good”.

“I never should have said that,” he said of his previous mea culpa. “I don’t think we did anything wrong.” As he stated in a recent interview with Connecticut Magazine, “If you have another bishop in the United States who has the record I have, I’d be happy to know who he is.”

Well, given his actual record (during his time with the Diocese of Bridgeport, Egan’s diocese had to settle cases and shell out awards to victims to the hymnal tune of some $12-15,000,000 in damages), when someone does come up with another bishop with a worse record, I hope I’m the one sitting down for that news.

Egan went on to claim that the Church had no obligation to report abuse to the civil authorities (which they have, by law, been required to do since the Seventies).  So we can add the sins of lying and arrogance to Egan’s list of transgressions. He’d better hope Christ was so busy laughing at the idea that Catholic women don’t use birth control that he wasn’t listening to Egan’s administration of Extreme Unctuousness. Continue reading Just Sayin’ Is All (Oh, Sweet Jesus! edition)

Just Sayin' Is All... #1

I’m still reeling over Fox News’ recent onslaught on the new Muppet movie.

Knowing that Fox News is a propaganda tool for the RW (‘tool’ invariably being the correct word usage when referring to anyone who is RW), I was taken aback by the fact that they weren’t standing up for their own.

Look at the current GOP presidential wannabes and – well, can you think anything but Muppets? They’re real people, you say? Don’t make me laugh.

Take one look at Michele Bachmann and tell me that’s not a sock wearing Dumber-Than-Thou lipstick and a pair of google eyes right out of Jim Henson’s spare parts bin. If she were a real person, she would have drowned years ago as a result of being too stupid to come in out of the rain.

After convincing his supporters that he was being victimized by the baseless unproven allegations of his various and sundry lady acquaintances, Herman “Herb” Cain conveniently dropped out of the race just as Miz Piggy announced her new tell-all book. Coincidence? Yeah, sure, whatevah.

Rick “Wannabe” Perry – an obvious reworking of the original George Dubya Muppet, only with more ego and less awareness of the world around him (yes, apparently that IS possible – who knew?).

Rick “Tickle Me Frothy” Santorum – insert your own joke here. The use of lubricant would be greatly appreciated.

“Newt” Gingrich – Newt is no newcomer when it comes to show biz, having starred as a boy centaur in The Mighty Hercules cartoon series back in the ‘sixties, followed by a stint as lead singer of Newtie & The Blowhards. The success or failure of his new career as a muppet remains to be seen.

As one of the Faux News bobbleheads stated: “This is a Muppet movie, for goodness sakes!” Yes, it is. And so was the last GOP debate, and the one before that, and the one before that. And goodness had nuthin’ to do with it.

Speaking of Muppets, ABC News announced that the Stephanopoulos (aka “George”) will be replacing Christiane Amanpour as host of the political talk show This Week. It seems that having an intelligent, knowledgeable and articulate host of a political show was deemed too wild an idea to catch on.

The good folks over to the Florida Family Association, a Tampa Bay group, has led a campaign urging companies like Lowe’s to pull their ads from the TV show American Muslim. Lowe’s promptly complied. I don’t know about you, but I’m reluctant to buy household fixtures from a company whose principles are that flimsy. Who wants a toilet that’s liable to collapse the minute a big, fat, ignorant, pseudo-Christian ass sits on it?

To their credit, the Association’s website provided a handy-dandy e-mail letter for its adherents to send to sponsors of the program – recognizing that most people who buy into this sort of bigoted crap can’t reed, spull, or rite gud Inglish. You just have to scratch your X at the bottom of the pre-fab screed, and away you go!

Senator John McCain had another “senior moment” this week while talking about Obama’s withdrawal of US troops from Iraq, stating:

“I believe that history will judge this president’s leadership with scorn and disdain, with the scorn and disdain that it deserves.”

Obviously McCain was talking about W’s presidency – but in the old geezer’s defense, he can’t be blamed for yet another demonstration of his encroaching senility. Most of us knew his mind was gone when he decided that Sarah “Quitterella” Palin had just the kind of stick-to-itiveness the nation needed in a VP.

On the topic of Quitteralla, it looks like some posters on Republican websites are convinced that she’ll be announcing her campaign kick-off any day now, leaving the other wannabes choking on her dust as she surges ahead in the polls. These are the same people who were convinced their Great White Hope, Fred Thompson, was going to be elected in 2008 in a landslide. Some of you might remember Fred’s stirring rallies on the campaign trail – you know, the ones he’s spent the last three years trying to forget.

Unfortunately, events in the latter part of the week bring us back to Newtie-Patootie, and this from a recent conference call with reporters:

“In order to restore balance between Congress, the White House, and the courts, Gingrich recommended ignoring rulings, impeaching judges, subpoenaing justices to have them explain their rulings and, as a last resort, abolishing the courts altogether.”

Apparently Newt thinks he’s running for All Fall On Your Knees Before My All-Powerful Dictatorship of the US, rather than the office of the presidency. My prediction: he hasn’t a chance of winning either race. Continue reading Just Sayin’ Is All… #1