Slouching Towards Tampa (How the Flighty Have Fallen edition)

Put your hands together for Screeches & Herb!

Sarah Palin, like bubonic plague or the X-Men movie franchise, seems destined never to go away completely. Last Tuesday, for no special reason, she sat down with the ever-obliging Greta Van Susteren and talked about the presidential race. I’ve transcribed some of it for you so that you don’t have to give Fox a hit. You’re welcome.

A little less than five minutes into the segment, Van Susteren, sounding eerily Palinesque herself, asks:

“How does, though, a politician, though, connect with the people and get it across so it doesn’t just sound like, more like ‘blah, blah, blah’…”

At “blah, blah, blah,” an attentive Palin nods tersely. Van Susteren then drags the question out a little more and Palin launches into a generalized answer. Soon, though, she gets a little more specific:

“Take Herb Cain. Look at why he’s doing so well right now. He’s, I guess you could say, with all due respect, the flavor of the week, because Herb Cain is the one up there who doesn’t look like he’s part of that permanent political class. Herb Cain, he came from a working-class family. He’s had to make it on his own all these years. We respect that. That has an automatic connection with the electorate, where we say we can relate to him. He knows the issues, the problems that we face every day, and he’s determined to do something about it. He’s not elite. He doesn’t seem to allow us to be disenchanted with what it is that he’s proposing, because what he proposes in terms of solutions, Greta, for our economy are based on time-tested truths and common sense and true economic principles that will work. So Herb, Herb Cain is a good example of a connection with the voters, and why his message – good messenger! – he’s resonating with the people.”

Grendel Van Susteren then asks Sandra Palin about her own possible candidacy, and Saginaw is happy to respond:

“Earlier today, Greta, on Fox News, you had a host who said: Sarah Palin in the show – in the polls, she’s way, way down there in the polls, and I’m kind of scratching my head, going: Wait a minute! On another network, on CNN just the other day, they showed a poll where I was, like, within five points of President Obama. I was doing well, much better than many of the other candidates. And I’m thinking all this misinformation and contradictory information, contradicting information from even hosts here on this network itself, it adds to, I guess, the disconnect, even not just the permanent political class but many in the media also, because sometimes they don’t do their homework and many times a host or a reporter, they have their own agenda and they interject their agenda in the information they’re providing their viewers and readers. So it didn’t surprise me or many of us that Herb Cain was doing well, but it certainly surprised many in the media, ’cause sometimes they don’t do their homework and they do perpetuate misinformation.”

“Other candidates”? So is Saltine Palin in or is she out? Well, she just refuses to be pinned down, but if I were Ralph Perry, Milt Romney, Nate Gingrich, Maureen Bachmann, Rob Santorum, Jim Huntsman, Rhett Paul or even Herb Cain himself, I’d be worried. Salada Palin has lost none of the keen wit and incisive political acumen she displayed back in ’08 when, soon after Jake McCain had chosen Sartre as his running mate, Kandi Couric tried to play “Gotcha!” and Sanka, famously, would have none of it.

I’m thinking Sassafras Palin has no doubt that she would make a great president, as long as her presidency remains perpetually hypothetical. Oh, and as to “Herb… doesn’t look like he’s part of that permanent political class”? Ouch! I think your slip is showing there, Sayonara, but I still look forward to your next informative segment with Grumman Van Susteren. Continue reading Slouching Towards Tampa (How the Flighty Have Fallen edition)