The GOP Strategy from Day One

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DDOn day one, the new GOP-led Congress has inserted a House rule making a technical change in the way funds for Social Security disability are allocated. On day one, in its first act, before any legislation is introduced, in the very procedures of its operation, the GOP House has set dead aim, targeted, and is going after the nation’s cripples. I use the word “cripple” to reflect the GOP pejorative world view—their insensitivity and demeaning, brutish, lowered standard of human virtues and afflictions, their harsh, punitive, belittling, angry, mocking, power-mad oppression of the weak.

So on day one, the nation’s 8,956,000 disabled, along with 1,825,000 children of the disabled, will find their benefits at peril. What the new rule does is separate Social Security as retirement income from its function as disability income. The rule no longer permits the reallocation of monies from one fund to the other without Congressional approval. Right now, the disability trust fund is underfunded. It is at risk of expiring within the next year. The GOP rule blocked its automatic save; the retirement trust funds can keep both programs solvent, with no changes, until 2033.

So we see the unveiling of the GOP strategy: create and advance crises by using Congressional authority to squeeze and micro-manage safety net program funds. Use the same authority to eliminate regulations that control the greed of big business and the rich. Finally, expose the country to the pillage and theft of resources and end broad family prosperity by creating a government that both gives away and takes away benefits that increase growth, income, freedom, security and opportunity for individuals.

Reporter Michael Hiltzik writes in the Los Angeles Times about the social security rule change:

The rule change reflects the burgeoning demonization of disability recipients, a trend we’ve reported on in the past. it’s been fomented by conservative Republicans and abetted by sloppy reporting by institutions such as NPR and 60 Minutes.

Disability recipients are easily caricatured as malingering layabouts by politicians, academics and journalists too lazy to do their homework. They’ll say disability benefits are easy to obtain, so lavish they discourage work, and convenient substitutes for welfare payments. None of that is true.

Hiltzik’s article explains who receives benefits and how they qualify, dissembling the characteristic stereotypes the GOP desperately seeks to protect as it pretends to defend the retirement benefit.

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On the other side of the Capitol, in the Senate chamber, on day one Republicans introduced a bill to change the definition of “full-time worker” in the Affordable Care Act (ACA, widely known as Obamacare) from 35 hours to 40 hours a week. The bill quickly received loud criticism from arch-conservative pundits, including Bill Kristof. But the 40-hour redefinition will make it easier for businesses to exempt their employee’s from coverage without lowering productivity—by cutting just one hour a week from their labor schedule! This technical workaround is an example of the kind that will become common in the 114th Congress over the next two years. Continue reading The GOP Strategy from Day One

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Teapublicans Scarier Than Ebola

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Grumpy2Grumpy: I suppose a word of warning is appropriate, and by that I mean let me tell you a little about my grumpy old self. If you end up not liking me or what you read here, at least you can’t say you weren’t warned.

Since Democrats For Progress is a political website, let’s get the politics out of the way first. I am a Socialist. If you think that means I believe in gulags and forced indoctrination of children then you are really in the wrong place. I suggest you check out your local library or, at the very least, use Google to find out about Socialism.

I believe that certain essentials to living should be community endeavors. Our infrastructure, our safety, our health system(s) are too important to be left to the whims of a capitalist’s bottom line.

That’s enough about politics for now; that talk always makes me grumpy. Other things that make me grumpy include hypocrisy (other people’s, not my own), greed (see previous disclaimer), racism, inequality, poverty and willful ignorance. Hardly a complete list, of course. I didn’t include things like my trick knee that likes to give out halfway up the steps from the basement.

Something that doesn’t make me grumpy is the fact that I was raised by two strong women. If we last long enough with each other in this mythic blogosphere place, you’ll probably hear a lot more about them. Each trod a very rough road and I am sure that I made them very grumpy at times. I just hope I didn’t disappoint them too badly.

Another thing that doesn’t make me grumpy is that when things go very badly with this blog, I have a co-conspirator to blame it on. That’s her, my muse mouse, peaking over my left shoulder (of course it would be to my left… duh) in my very bad selfie above. That little mouse will be responsible for anything I say that makes any sense at all, and the best part is that she works cheap. A little cheese is all it takes. If she is particularly lenient with her criticisms I will even shred the cheese for her so she doesn’t have to chew so hard.

Mouse: Hi. You can call me Mouse. Most people do. Supposedly it’s because I can be a bit mischievous and I really like cheese. I hope it’s not because they think I have big ears. That would be mortifying.

I’m a liberal Democrat. I can’t imagine being anything else.

Anyway, I’ve known Grumpy as an on-line friend for many years, and just between you and me, he’s not as cantankerous as he says he is… but I’m not gonna put that to a test just now. If he says he’s in a bad mood and he’s got some cheese, good enough for me.

Grumpy: So let’s get on with it, Mouse. Here is what is making me grumpy today.

I read this week that a person — make that an idiot — thought it was a good idea to joke about having Ebola while sitting on an airplane. Why would anyone think this was either funny, at best, or only mildly irritating, at worst? That is gallows humor at its worst. It should be no surprise to anyone that this idiot got taken off the plane by people who aren’t idiots in hazmat suits. Wouldn’t you have loved to have seen the look on his face as those “suits” came up the aisle?

If I was on that plane I’d certainly be grumpy. Probably grumpy enough to punch the guy in the nose, but then he’d start bleeding on me and we’d both be carted off by the “suits.” That would make me as idiotic as that guy.

Well, what’s one idiot, right? There’s always one in every crowd, right? But what if you have a whole crowd of guys like that idiot? Well, unfortunately we have just such a group right here in the good old US of A. I like to call them the Teapublican Party (aka the GOP).

Actually, I do the idiot on the plane a disservice comparing him to the Teapublicans. He only thought he was making a lame joke. The Teapublicans, on the other hand, are taking what is already a scary disease and trying to make political hay out of it. With the midterm elections just around the corner, it looks like they are trying to turn Ebola into this cycle’s October Surprise!

Don’t take my word for it; just do a quick Google search for “GOP Ebola quotes.” I just did that and here are the first two headlines that pop up: “8 Conservative Ebola Freakouts That Blamed Obama” from Talking Points Memo, and “Why conservatives blame Obama for Ebola” from CNN.

This Talking Points Memo article gives a good rundown that includes Teapublican faves like Mike Huckabee, “The Donald,” Michelle Malkin and Rush Limbaugh. Competition like that is hard to beat, but I think a former GOP executive from South Carolina beats that crew handily for outrageous, idiotic and possibly dangerous rhetoric. His name is Todd Kincannon and if I had my way his mug would grace the page of the Merriam-Webster Dictionary next to the entry for “Stupid.” Here is how Kincannon expounded on Ebola, 140 characters at a time, via Twitter:

“People with Ebola in the US need to be humanely put down immediately.”

“There’s just no other way with Ebola. We need to be napalming villages from the air right now.”

“We elected a Kenyan as president. Now nobody has a job and there’s an Ebola outbreak in Dallas. These things are not coincidental.”

“There’s nothing wrong with compassion. But there’s also nothing wrong with survival. Sometimes you gotta put Old Yeller down.”

Those are bad enough, but Kincannon doesn’t hold back about his contempt for an entire continent or at least the inhabitants of it. Here are a few gems from this idiot about Africa, or, more accurately, Africans: Continue reading Teapublicans Scarier Than Ebola

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Stormy Monday, 3/17/14

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StormyMondayEven before yesterday’s secession “referendum” in Crimea, Washington and the European Union had declared that the process didn’t pass the smell test. Sure as dammit, there was an off-putting spoor to exit polls suggesting 93% support for breaking away from Ukraine and joining Russia. European foreign ministers gather today in Brussels to discuss freezing Russian assets, with a Thursday conclave of EU leaders also scheduled.

Stateside, John Kerry has been spending a lot of time on the phone with Russian foreign minister Lavrov, much as Secretary Kerry’s boss has been chatting a lot with Lavrov’s. In Congress, bipartisan pressure continues to build for sanctions against Russia; the Senate Foreign Relations Committee cleared a sanctions bill last week that also guarantees $1 billion in loans to Ukraine. Just back from a meaningless but self-aggrandizing Ukraine junket, and ever the bilge – er, bridge over troubled water, John McCain yesterday unhelpfully described Russia as “a gas station masquerading as a country.” Hmm. What with “that one” in the White House for a second term, poor Senator McCain is running out of wars. Shill, baby, shill.

Fred Phelps, former capo of the Westboro Baptist church, reportedly begins the week “close to death.” Which would be a shame, except that he’s Fred Phelps.

Cyberspace could be in for a rude shock this week if Republicans make good on their excited bleating about deploying some spanking new “.gop” websites. Wow! Talk about seismic shifts: same stale, dim, destructive ideas, totally new domain!

The search continues for Malaysia Airlines’ Flight 370, amid new suspicions that the plane’s disappearance was linked to a 9/11-style plot to attack India. Michael McCaul, chair of the House Homeland Security Committee, and Peter King, one of his fellow Republican doofuses thereon, continue to insist that a terrorism connection is unlikely, which leads me to suspect that it’s very likely. Continue reading Stormy Monday, 3/17/14

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For Obama: One Great Final Step

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Oklahoma is the 20th largest US state by population. Its 77 counties rank 17th in states by number of counties. Oklahoma is also the only state where President Barack Obama failed to carry a single county—in both elections. Cimarron County give him only 9.6% of its 2012 vote; Cherokee’s 6,137 votes gave him his best 2012 state showing with 43%.

Statewide, Obama received only 33.6% of Oklahoma’s 2012 Presidential vote. He won a few urban precincts in Oklahoma City, Lawton, Norman and Tulsa, and in the state’s east. But twice in Oklahoma, the President met dismal defeat. No state was more red and more solid in its votes against him. And he did worse the second time.

You would not know this from the reception the President received during his recent visit to Moore, a town leveled by the worst tornadoes in years. No grandstanding or finger-pointing, no back-turning or ugly signs of protests met his inspection tour of a red state now needing federal assistance. He was received with genuine voices of goodwill and relief.

It was same when the President visited Cushing, OK in March 2012, where a local boom in oil storage led to opening a new, 65-room Best Western. Cushing’s size? About 8,000, including the correctional institution that is counted in the town’s numbers. Protesters were gearing up, but many locals felt it rude to not to extend the President gracious hospitality.

Cushing wanted the XL Pipeline built; it passes right through town. Obama promised to fast track its southern end. It should be finished by the year’s end. But will it be connected to its northern half?

Many find Obama’s decision-making weak, but I think it alternates between courageous, risky and indifferent. For a host of reasons, including the type of slurry it carries and Houston’s refining capacity, the pipeline makes no sense in US energy policy or as a job development project.

It only makes sense if you are Ottawa, Canada, and because of opposition and jurisdiction issues, cannot build a pipeline to Canada’s Pacific coast and need a global outlet and port.

The President has a decidedly laissez-faire approach to business, whether in the oil fields or on Wall Street—or in pushing for a faster recovery with greater job growth. In the right combination, courage, risk and the benign can work successfully to stifle political opposition and overcome structural obstacles, but will seldom accelerate progress. But we are in a rare era, where these values can hasten our economic success. The President faces an opening that matches his skill set.

In economics, progress is tied not to profit but to opportunity and productivity. In the US, both measures are stagnant or falling. Industrial production is recovering from a deep hole and has not yet returned to pre-recession levels.

The aggregate hours for workers engaged in production follow exactly the same trend.

The chart of workers not in the labor force but actively looking follows a pattern that is the inverse of how we think about charts. Its upward trend means the numbers of displaced workers who want work are high and appear to be entering and leaving the work force with high volatility, finding work only in brief squirts after the recovery’s initial bounce. Continue reading For Obama: One Great Final Step

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How Come Big News Is Seldom About Big Ideas?

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Have you noticed how we now log our tragedies by their dates?

We have killed more of our own citizens with guns than have died in all the wars the US fought since the Revolution (212,000+).

Robbing Peter to pay Paul, it’s March, time to take advantage of the wind energy from the GOP check-kiting plan to use empty Treasury coffers to pay government debt in lieu of their first choice of default.

When is the time ninety percent of Americans agreed on anything? Astounding, across the hills and vales of the majestic plains below the purple mountains, ninety percent of America agrees on purchasers of guns being reviewed by background checks. 

Old Westerns had heroic characters famed for the use of guns, who often worked indirectly on-screen to prevent the ownership and use of guns for self-defense or to settle disputes, due to the lessons learned from their own personal, on-screen (or back story) experience (fictionally!). As famed gun users in a violent era, no Western movie hero argued on-screen for increasing the ownership of guns. Those who assembled armies of guns were labeled bad guys. Of course, the NRA would now call good guys trying to limit guns a fantasy. The NRA position is now the one endorsed by Hollywood’s worst outlaws. (I call their view a curse. And at least thirteen senators want America to become the OK Corral.)

Maybe the two or three members of Congress from Florida who are calling the shots for a full congressional investigation of Jay-Z and Beyoncé visiting a children’s dance troupe, an arts school, and an elderly, well known Cuban singer, and Jay-Z being photographed with a Cuban cigar and the two eating in privately-owned restaurants while visiting Havana will come in time to see such a call as a demand for government to grossly intrude in the lives of citizens (a position the Congress members profess to abhor!), and more importantly, a spurious, non-productive use of government resources, a waste of money for political frivolity that represents the excesses that give government a bad name (and negate the fervent claim of fiscal fidelity put forth by these same Congress members who are suddenly eager to practice a violation of their core campaign, party, and personal principles!).

The couple had the proper license for cultural exchanges that meet US guidelines for travel to Cuba. To call the famous couple’s trip “tourism” is another example of the petty insignificance associated with outsized, politically faked outrage (their indignation targeted at wealthy minority celebrities who didn’t stay up late in South Beach clubs). The Cuban people themselves seem to disagree with the American Congress members; they cheered wildly, smiled, clapped, and were excited everywhere the couple went. (Was this a state demonstration ordered by Raul Castro?)

The Congress members manufactured a non-issue to stoke anger and resentment. Do you believe there is a patriotic cause to be served by closing cultural contacts with Cuba—and leaving open the pipeline to Mitt Romney’s Grand Cayman accounts?

In fact, what has the boycott of Cuba proven other than we can boycott Cuba? Did it improve the lives of Cubans? Bring them closer to full liberty? Topple the regime? End human rights violations? Or comfort an old anger?

Both Virginia and Florida have new state educational standards that differ for children based on their ethnicity and race. In Florida, the tax dollars of a black parent buy fifty percent of the standard that the tax dollars of a white parent do. When vouchers are created, vouchers for black parents will buy fifty percent less education than those of whites—but both meet state-approved standards. Suddenly, black children will be successful in charter schools—achieving an official, approved state standard fifty percent lower than the one set for whites.

Who thinks of these things?

How come big news is never any longer about big ideas?

GOP Senator Mitch McConnell, the Minority Leader of the Senate, brought up a big name this week, a seminal event in America’s history, Watergate. In his description of the leak of a strategic meeting for his re-election, he conveniently compared it to the famous Watergate break-in (done by operatives working for a Republican Presidential campaign effort!) and re-wrote the history of political taping: he suggested the tapes were obtained by bugs placed in his office!

He ignored the rich irony that the content of the tapes brought the presidency of Richard Nixon down. Nixon’s tapes revealed and documented acts illegal and unethical. McConnell’s tapes called for focusing on an opponent’s mental health issues. McConnell’s own mental health and morals should be questioned and come under inspection. He lies. He is delusional (by any standard). He utterly lacks standards of social behavior. He violates community ethics. He is unable to accept responsibility. He is devoid of honesty or fair play. Will the same personal flaws that once got Richard Nixon impeached get Mitch McConnell reelected?

In the House, McConnell has a kindred spirit in Paul Ryan. In submitting his budget plan for marking, the Congressional Budget Office (CBO) detailed the rules Paul Ryan and his staff specified “by which revenues and spending would evolve.”

Ryan told the CBO to assume his Medicare plan would hold costs to half a percent above GDP growth. He required the CBO to assume spending on Medicaid and the Children’s Health Insurance Program would grow at the rate of inflation. He told the CBO to assume that federal spending, outside of Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security, will fall to 3.75 percent of GDP in 2050. He chairs the committee that oversees our national budget!

The President apologized to California’s Attorney General for saying she was America’s “best looking” state Attorney General. In a country whose largest media event, the Super Bowl, included Jay-Z’s wife in full breakdown mode, and after a CBS memo for the Oscars, the Onion’s Oscar night misstep that many called “free speech,” thousands of scatological posts about the President’s own sexuality (one asking the First Lady how it feels to be “a beard”) and scathing comments about the First Lady’s body image, none which rise to the level of a comment using the phrase “good looking,” why all the noise?

The point here (and for the whole piece!) is to point out that when an event or phrase is singled out and profiled, it is generally tied to a deeper cultural meaning that the media ignores, one hidden by the obvious and transparent political claims being made. And these deeper meanings must be reviewed and weighed not as tit and tat or good and bad or double evils or final reasons (or tennis returns! Go Serena!), but for the weight they add to or take away from the collective progress, peace, and love, and how they mark our path. 

The diet of Republican politics has a lot of fat and greasy palms and bad choices for America’s health. But the GOP has staked a claim on obscuring facts and proclaiming the end of the world.

Fact: No President in history has been as emotionally public and transparent as Barack Obama. (Try to imagine any GOP President or nominee saying to a crowd, “I love you back.”) His hugs of Michelle I sometimes feel should be private, so intimate do they appear. (I have written here of eagles locking talons!) But to my memory, his words should have been public; beauty is a gift and an aesthetic that we can appreciate, and should not be tied to the idea that its acknowledgement belittles others or crosses a conventional line of correctness—but more, in the complex of my own memory, I have waited for this day, because I am a Southerner and I remember the hoped-to-be pardoned Scottsboro Boys and I remember Emmett Till. Continue reading How Come Big News Is Seldom About Big Ideas?

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The New Shock and Awe - The Republican War Against Women

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[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SS4pb-PrGs’]

Transcript:

It used to be that you would write an article or give a speech about how Republicans would love to turn back the clock on women’s rights and you would get a lot of kind but condescending expressions and responses. Many women and men who would read these articles thought that this not only could never happen, but they couldn’t imagine that Republicans had the desire and will to actually do it. I’ve always believed deep down that if the GOP thought they could get away with turning the clock back on women’s rights, they would try.

Two generations of women have been born since the feminist movements of the late 60s early 1970s. That means that around half of the women in this country do not know life before the hard-fought gains of the women that came before them. Generations X and Y have never known a world where women don’t have the right to make their own reproductive choices like contraceptives and abortion. They have never known a world where the statutes against the workplace crime of sexual harassment didn’t exist. They don’t remember a world where women who wanted to have a career outside of teaching or nursing were met with virtually immutable resistance.

There are still some glass ceilings around now waiting to be breached, but before the early 1970s, there weren’t ceilings, there were glass boxes.

Women had very few choices about how they could live their lives and how their intimate relations could be conducted. Society nearly demanded that women submit to control by their husbands and the demands of stay-at-home motherhood and housekeeping.

Those of us who were born or came of age after that time don’t know what that was like, and it should be said that while women are far better off now than before the 1970s, much work needs to be done.

Still, all this time the Republican party has been conspiring to return women to the glass box. It’s obvious now that was the case, but what made it obvious to me before the recent GOP war on women was the statements by conservative pundits and media personalities like, yes, Rush Limbaugh. Long before he attacked Sandra Fluke as a, quote, “slut”, he had an ongoing, several decades long war against women’s rights activists, belittling them, calling them names like “feminazis”. And Limbaugh was far from the only one.

What is clear now is that these conservative media personalities were purposefully weakening the women’s rights movement; they were ridiculing the idea that there was a reason to continue to have women’s activists, claiming that they were anti-men, and all of the slander and innuendo we have heard from Rush and his ilk over the last 30 years, all the while biding their time for when they hoped to go on the attack legislatively.

When Republicans won back the House in 2010 and reduced the Democratic control in the Senate to one seat and had President Obama seemingly reeling and fighting to stay on his feet, they launched their war on women. The first salvos were launched during the run-up to 2010 election.

Five high-profile Tea Party Republican Senate candidates – Rand Paul of Kentucky, Ken Buck of Colorado, Joe Miller of Alaska, Sharron Angle of Nevada and Christine O’Donnell of Delaware – announced they were against a woman’s right to have an abortion even in the case of rape or incest! They wanted women who were raped and girls who got pregnant by a relative to be forced to bear those children. Several Republican Senate and House candidates also announced they were against birth control pills and other contraception choices for women.

During that campaign, you had Republican Senator DeMint say that if someone is openly homosexual, they shouldn’t be teaching in the classroom, and he holds the same position on an unmarried woman who’s sleeping with her boyfriend — she shouldn’t be in the classroom. No mention, of course, about men who are promiscuous with women. Continue reading The New Shock and Awe – The Republican War Against Women

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Romney Signs Lucrative Endorsement Deal

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Spectrum Brands, makers of the George Foreman Grill®, announced yesterday that they have reached an agreement in principle with former Massachusetts governor and current GOP Presidential front-runner Mitt Romney to endorse their latest small kitchen appliance, The Mitt Romney Waffle-Pro®.

Company spokesman Liam Toomey unveiled a prototype of the new product at a press conference in Scranton, Pennsylvania, where candidate Romney was scheduled to be campaigning for the upcoming Republican primary. “We were expecting the governor to be here,” Toomey told the reporters present, “but apparently he changed his mind at the last minute.”

The press conference featured a demonstration of the Waffle-Pro®, showing off the feature which the manufacturer claims makes this product revolutionary — a ‘reset’ button which allows its top surface to pivot, instantly converting the unit that just produced an attractive but unhealthy snack or breakfast into ‘The Mitt Romney Health-Pro® Vegetable Griller/Steamer’. “We feel that the same versatility which allows this product to instantly address and cater to what would seem on the surface to be diametrically opposed dietary cravings will make it as popular with consumers as its namesake is with moderates,” Toomey noted.

The Mitt Romney Waffle-Pro® is expected to be available in stores August 27 to coincide with the opening of the Republican National Convention in Tampa, Florida. Toomey also announced that Gov. Romney is expected to give “… what should be a memorable — if not historic — nationally televised waffle demonstration the day after the convention.”

While full financial details of the deal were not disclosed, Spectrum Brands did reveal the existence of a provision which they feel makes the deal a guaranteed ‘win-win’. As Mr. Toomey explained it, “if the product, as many anticipate happening with the Governor’s political career, somehow goes the way of the dodo bird, the company has an option to spin off its Mitt Romney Waffle-Pro® unit which Mr. Romney will then take over and secure venture capital to refinance, guaranteeing a successful financial outcome for both himself and our top executives prior to filing Chapter 7 bankruptcy. Continue reading Romney Signs Lucrative Endorsement Deal

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GOP Voting Measures Anger Women's Groups

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Bills currently being considered in 13 state legislatures have several women’s rights groups and prominent civil rights advocates accusing Republicans of attempting to disenfranchise the nation’s female population.

The measures — all very similar in nature — would require female voters to undergo counseling and/or wait at least 24 hours after first visiting the polls before being allowed to cast their ballot.

Opponents describe such legislation as a blatant attempt to prevent women from voting. Supporters claim that no one’s rights would be infringed, and the measures, once enacted, will allow female voters to “make more informed decisions”.

Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell, a proponent of a bill currently being debated by the House of Delegates which would require that all women seeking to exercise their right to vote first undergo a brain MRI and then have the results as well as informational material prepared by state legislators read and explained to them before casting their ballot, defended his position telling reporters, “Elections have consequences. They can profoundly affect people’s lives. It is not our intention to discourage anyone from exercising their constitutionally protected rights. Rather, before taking such an important step, we feel it is in the best interests of our Commonwealth that all women seeking to vote be provided with the tools they need to make an informed decision.”

When asked by one reporter why he feels there is a need for women, specifically, to receive state-mandated information before being casting a ballot, the Governor responded, “C’mon — you know how they can be.”

Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus bristled when asked to respond to critics’ accusations that these and similar proposals expected to be introduced in at least 10 other GOP-controlled state houses are nothing more than a thinly veiled attempt to discourage women from voting brought about by recent polls — which suggest that current measures designed to restrict access to abortion as well as the ongoing national debate over contraception are eroding support for Republican candidates among female voters. Continue reading GOP Voting Measures Anger Women’s Groups

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RNC to Suspend Presidential Primaries, Introduce New Logo

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A visibly haggard Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus emerged from a closed-door emergency meeting of the RNC’s Executive Council this afternoon and announced to the crowd gathered outside the meeting room the immediate suspension of his party’s 2012 Presidential primaries.

Word of the announcement spread like wildfire as several of the lunchtime throng seated in the main dining room of the Whitewater, Wisconsin Applebee’s realized that the seemingly disoriented individual who had just emerged from the restaurant’s banquet room to disturb their midday meal was no ordinary rambling lunatic, and apparently something important was afoot. While several took to Twitter and Facebook to document their presence at this unprecedented, historic event, another called a local newspaper to suggest they send a reporter.

“I honestly couldn’t believe my luck — this is probably the best scoop I’ll get all year,” said Skippy Fartbuster, editor-in-chief of the Whitewater Central High Weekly Bugle, who took the call.

In a Fartbuster exclusive, Priebus explained RNC strategy going forward: Continue reading RNC to Suspend Presidential Primaries, Introduce New Logo

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Romney Calls for Deportation of Gays, Women Who Use Contraception

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In a move described by Republican strategists as “going all in” in his effort to grab the conservative mantle from his opponents, former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney today took a hard-line position in the so-called “culture wars” by declaring that, as President, he would seek the deportation of openly gay individuals and women suspected of using contraception.

Facing possible defeat in his childhood home state of Michigan, Romney also used the occasion of this announcement to take a swipe at the fiscal history and credentials of his chief rival, Catholic conservative Rick Santorum. Santorum’s gain in momentum in recent weeks has, in the view of most experts, made him a serious threat to come from behind and barrel right through the current front-runner.

“While Senator Santorum’s views on gay rights and contraception are well documented, so too is his record when it comes to fiscal responsibility and pork-barrel spending in the form of earmarks,” Romney told an enthusiastic gathering of supporters at a family get-together. “Under my plan, there would be little or no cost to the American taxpayers. On the other hand, I’ll bet anyone here $10,000 that Mr. Santorum would propose incarcerating these offenders in brand-new maximum-security penitentiaries costing billions of dollars to build — let alone the cost of staffing and maintaining them as well as paying to feed, clothe, and otherwise care for the inmates. On top of that I’ll bet you another $10,000 that he would propose these penitentiaries be constructed in his home state of Pennsylvania. The country should expect nothing less from a Washington insider.”

When asked to which country or countries he planned to deport offenders under the plan, Gov. Romney responded, “That will have to be determined at a later date — but I can tell you that I would not favor deportation to Mexico since we still have a lot of family there.” Continue reading Romney Calls for Deportation of Gays, Women Who Use Contraception

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