Take Five (Precious Bodily Fluids edition)

ONE: Life During Wartime

A few months from now, we’ll have flushed away 10 years occupying Afghanistan for reasons that still don’t pass the smell test, and it seems that, just maybe, the shared wartime sacrifice called for by neither George Bush the Lesser nor his Oval Office successor has become unavoidable, at least in some jurisdictions.

The New York Post reported last week that toilet paper was apparently being rationed by bathroom attendants in the women’s rooms at Coney Island:

Regina Ballone, 25, of Brooklyn visited a boardwalk bathroom at West 16th Street Wednesday and was “grossed out” at the thought of someone else handling her toilet paper.

“Never in my life have I experienced anything like this,” she said. “I walked toward a stall, and a bathroom attendant stopped me by shouting, ‘Hey, mami! There’s no toilet paper here,’ and she whipped out a big roll for me to grab some.”

However, the initial report was quickly deemed crap by the Parks Department:

The Parks Department refused to say how much it budgeted for toilet paper and other supplies, with a spokeswoman saying only, “Bathroom supplies are stocked daily, and our budget for these supplies is consistent.

“There’s no need to ration, and we’ll make certain our staff does not do so,” added the rep, Meghan Lalor.

Staff were demonstrably not doing so in the men’s rooms, at least:

Toilet paper rationing isn’t an issue in the men’s rooms — but only because they apparently don’t have any to ration. The toilet paper was gone whenever a The Post reporter went to inspect the men’s rooms.

The following day, the Parks Commissioner more or less un-denied the prior denial and came clean on the whole nasty affair:

Parks Commissioner Adrian Benepe ended the rationing of toilet paper at Coney Island yesterday — admitting that The Post’s potty expos√© left him flush with embarrassment.

“We don’t know why [some workers] decided to ration toilet paper. Clearly . . . it was a mistake,” Benepe said.

“The economic conditions are challenging, but not that challenging. If you go there today, you’ll find toilet paper in every stall,” he said. “It’s our business to help New Yorkers do theirs.” Continue reading Take Five (Precious Bodily Fluids edition)